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Couples Compatibility Test


I am writing a new book about healthy relaltionships. I believe that honesty and compatibility are the keys to success followed by passion and commitment. But how do you know if you are compatible? I have created a questionnaire to help you do a benefit/cost analysis. (This is a pdf file and needs acrobat reader.) Donations are welcome.

  • It is copyright protected and cannot be duplicated.
  • I would appreciate feedback as this is a work in progress.


This questionnaire is designed for use by couples, prior to marriage, to determine their level of compatibility. It is also designed to help married couples determine those areas in their marriage where they may be experiencing difficulty.

Each participant should have their own separate compatibility questionnaire and all the questions should be answered in writing.

DO NOT total the scores. After each person answers the questions, the answers should be compared. The point of the questionnaire is to determine the similarities (or lack thereof) in a couples interests and values. Opposites may attract, but it is those ways in which partners are similar that will predict how long and successful a relationship will be.

These questions are meant to stimulate a dialogue between two individuals. For this reason, this exercise should typically take weeks, not hours, to complete.

In terms of scoring, when one person scores “1” on an item, and the other scores a “5” the item needs to be looked at and evaluated in terms of the extent to which you as a couple feels it takes away from your compatibility. Scores that are similar in numeric values are a good sign. For example, scores of “1” and “2” or “4” and “5” would indicate similarity. Identical scores are not necessarily the goal. Self-awareness the goal.

Each couple is different but receiving the same or very similar answers for more than 50% of the questions would indicate compatibility.

Remember, each person should be completely honest in their responses. Trying to spare your partner’s feelings, or saying what you think your partner wants to hear, defeats the purpose of this questionnaire. We must not be blinded or controlled by romantic love.


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