am writing a new book about healthy relaltionships. I believe that
honesty and compatibility are the keys to success followed by passion
and commitment. But how do you know if you are compatible?
I have created a questionnaire to help
you do a benefit/cost analysis. (This is a pdf file and needs acrobat
reader.) Donations are welcome.
is copyright protected and cannot be duplicated.
would appreciate feedback as this is a work in progress.
questionnaire is designed for use by couples, prior to marriage,
to determine their level of compatibility. It is also designed to
help married couples determine those areas in their marriage where
they may be experiencing difficulty.
participant should have their own separate compatibility questionnaire
and all the questions should be answered in writing.
NOT total the scores. After each person answers the questions, the
answers should be compared. The point of the questionnaire is to
determine the similarities (or lack thereof) in a couples interests
and values. Opposites may attract, but it is those ways in which
partners are similar that will predict how long and successful a
relationship will be.
questions are meant to stimulate a dialogue between two individuals.
For this reason, this exercise should typically take weeks, not
hours, to complete.
terms of scoring, when one person scores “1” on an item,
and the other scores a “5” the item needs to be looked
at and evaluated in terms of the extent to which you as a couple
feels it takes away from your compatibility. Scores that are similar
in numeric values are a good sign. For example, scores of “1”
and “2” or “4” and “5” would
indicate similarity. Identical scores are not necessarily the goal.
Self-awareness the goal.
couple is different but receiving the same or very similar answers
for more than 50% of the questions would indicate compatibility.
each person should be completely honest in their responses. Trying
to spare your partner’s feelings, or saying what you think
your partner wants to hear, defeats the purpose of this questionnaire.
We must not be blinded or controlled by romantic love.
• Writings • Counseling